My love 4 Nursing...

2day is juz 1 of those days which i felt like i shouldn't haf woken up... My mom suddenly told me tat she had always knew tat my heart was neva in nursing... Tat realli hit me hard... Like realli HARD... I can't help it but 2 break down n cry... I wondered y muz she do tis? I was juz gettin comfortable n lovin nursing n she had 2 do tis??!! I didn't noe wat's her motive... I juz went thru a rough patch durin the last 2 days... Tryin 2 search myself n try 2 find out wat my mistakes was n I had 2 b put down flat... Was realli in no mood 2 werk 2day...

Then wat's the point of me pursuing my degree then?? Goin thru the CI Course then?? Tat's the qns she posted 2 me... Sometimes, i tink tat my mom don understand me... Now i feel like a failure wid no motive in life... It made me rethink bout my life...

Wat haf i been doin during the last 6 yrs?? Was my passion n contribution 2 nursing considered nullified??

Wat i tink of nursing?? Somehow i find tis feelin diminished in most nurses tat i noe... I apologise 2 those wid tis mindset b4 hand... They took up nursing... They took up bond... They finish bond... They left nursing... They join other industry coz nursing is juz a steppin stone n ticket 2 other country...

I tink of nursing as a job tat gives... If u had placed me in an elderly hm 4 the aged... I tink I'll b veri BLESSED...(Alhumdullilah!!) 2 b surrounded by old pple... They r the 1s tat drives me n kept me motivated... Like Mr. X tat i bathed tis mornin...

The job satisfaction i had was from direct nursing care...Keepin in touch wid patient... Holding them... Touching them... My need 2 pursue further in knowledge was my thirst 4 knowledge... How i can help n do better 4 the patient... But the mindset tat my mom had was b'coz i wanted 2 rise in ranks... Sure!! Mayb i would love 2 someday... When I'm tired... But not soon... Coz i'm afraid tat the feelin might juz die off in me n leave me empty... I dunnoe whether i should b angry...

I'm not suppose 2 b criticising my mom... It's juz tat mayb some pple still tink it tat way... Knowledge = Ranks... Well... I don... Even if after aquirin knowledge n u place me in a rural area wid veri sick pple n low pay... I'll b glad 2 do it... Tat's how I'm showing how far i would go 4 nursing... Nursing is my Life n I'm Lovin' It...

Had a talk wid 1 of my students last wk... Being 17, i was shocked tat he has a mindset of a 40yrs old... Wat he said left me thinkin... The passion 4 nursing will never die... But u haf 2 tink @ the age of 30, the mind is willing... But the body is weak... N when u're 40 tis will continue 2 deteriorate... Tat's when i'll tink bout managerial role... But while i still haven reach 40.. I want 2 care 4 patients as much as possible... Tat's wat i'm tinkin now...

My tributes to all the nurses tat i noe from all walks of life n hospitals n the motivation tat keeps them moving in nursing... May Allah bless u with Health, Courage n Strength... Amin... Insya-allah...