6th Years On...

While listening to Nell's - Time Spent Walking Through Memories (On repeat mode)... I started 2 tink... Which I haf not done 4 long...

13th June 2011 is goin 2 mark my 6th Years in Nursing... Tat does not include d 3 yrs in Nursing School... A fact known 2 alot of nurses... Nursing School used 2 b School of Nursing (SON) but now... Wid d different education system... Nursing School includes SON (4 wat we call d Seniors batch), NYP, NP n ITE Simei...

Wen things tend 2 go wrong... Pple will tend 2 ask... Which Nursing School r u from... Due 2 d stigmata tat over d yrs... Seniors tend 2 adopt a "I knew it" system due 2 wat we called "certain traits" of different schools...

Back 2 my tots... 6th years of Nursing n somehow I feel like d flame in me is depleting... I'm not sure either it's a physical breakdown or was it an emotional breakdown... I certainly would like 2 breakaway from Nursing temporary...

Made an attempt 2 rekindle tat flame n tat is by reading books bout Nursing n wat it used 2 b back in d past? I started 2 recall back during my Student days when life den seems 2 b much simpler whereby following d orders of d staff nurses r all we need 2 do...

As life gets complicated wid d constant need 2 improve n upgrade... Every1 seems 2 b snobbish n proud of their end product... Recalling back on SARS... I tot tat d status of Nurses had increased... At least in S'pore... But alas... All tat has not improved... Wid over-demanding "Customers" tat includes, our colleagues aka Doctors, patients n their families...

We r treat as "high-class maids"... And should anything goes wrong... We... D frontline staff would b d 1st 2 b blasted at... Tat makes me veri upset... Nursing is no about collaboration which pple has been saying... It's still d same old "I order u 2 do tis... N u should do as ordered..."

I wonder... How d rest r feeling? Wid those being more den 10 yrs in tis line... Was it more of tolerance n patience? Or was it more of dedication? I surely did wonder? But throughout out tis past 6 years... Der r certainly ups n downs... Not 4getting d laughters n frenz I had made thru d course of werk... Some r good frenz... Or should I say GOLDEN frenz... While some r juz a pain in d neck...

Nursing surely had changed me... Not onli does it change my perspective in life... Pple often said tat I haf not grown up... Mayb physically... I'd rather show pple how I love 2 live d life!! Thru Nursing... I learnt tat life is short n tat I should try out everythin... (Ok... I regretted d fact tat I didn't do d Bungee jump wid Sue n Fa La La back in Nami Island...)

BIG BANG had been d MOST WONDERFUL thing tat had happened 2 me so far... Besides meeting M.O.M n Fa La La... Wonderful frenz I haf here... Back 2 BIG BANG... Pple always wonder while I am so enticed by dem...

Well... Der's a story behind it... I was going thru a rough time during my Adv Dip... Which pple didn't realise... Not even my family... I somehow felt tat pple's expectations of me is veri high... N tat there had been tis constant nagging at d back of my head... N I had chance across BIG BANG's documentary den... C-ing their perseverance n not mentioning TOP's determination... I began 2 took dem on as my form of motivation 2 lead me thru...

Being weird is wad my sister had been calling me since young... Mayb b'coz of d different outlook I had... D constant comparison I had since young might b cause? I has d LOVE 4 LOUD Music in comparison 2 my Twin sis... N tat Dull colours had always been my fav colour... N once... Pple had mentioned 2 my sis tat I seem 2 b in a constant depression mode... Which makes me like huh?! Well... Mayb... I am juz quiet? Tired off all d talking back wen I am young?

Back 2 Nursing... I started 2 recall on how Nursing had chosen me n not I how I had chosen 2 b in Nursing... I had a deal wid Dad tat if I nothing can make me change my mind within d 1st 3 mths... I would quit nursing... Somehow I remember d small chitchat I had wid my late grandma while I accompanied her in d hospital during her Dementia days... I was accompanying my late grandma alone... N tat all my cousins had left me alone so tat dey can go dating... (Mind u... My twin sister had 2 attend an agonizing camp courtesy of my Dad... N Elder sis is on attachment in Germany... Leaving me who had juz came back from NPCC training camp...)

Wid d fact of her Dementia... She had called me a Doctor... Den a Nurse... N tat small chitchat had still remained clear in my mind... In which she had wanted me 2 b some1 who is of use 2 d society n tat she had hoped tat I would b a Doctor wen I grew up... I gez tat which sorta came true 4 her as I become a Nurse... N certainly d 1st encounter wid a frail old lady who actualli hugged me n thanked me 4 being a nurse... Which made me stayed on...

NURSING... A fact tat I can't deny n tat it runs in my blood... I believe tat should tis SPECIAL talent had been taken away from me... It will break my heart a gazillion more times den it did 4 my 1st Love...