Dedicated To Nurses...

Here r some nurses jokes which i read through each time i felt i had a terrible day @ werk... Enjoy!!

1. You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine (Seriouslli thinkin... Yep!! They sure need them... Wakaka!!)
2. You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night (Don let me c u Man!!)
3. You believe not all patients are annoying ... Some are unconscious
4. Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year
5. You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart (Not excactly... Usualli had 2 check online b4 callin... Mac Donald's any1??)
6. You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock
7. Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually
8. When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes
9. Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and keys in your pockets
10. You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can
11. You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver
12. You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and triggers "flash backs." (Actualli i like watchin ER so tat i can criticize them?? Wakaka!!)
13. You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work (No!!)
14. You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up (How i hope it realli happens... Tat can b QUITE interestin...)
15. You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse (Like TOTALLI lor!!)
16. Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you (Actualli more than tat... They r essentials!!)
17. You can intubate your friends at parties (Pls lor... SO not doin it...)
18. You don't get excited about blood loss ... unless it's your own (TRUE!! TRUE!!)
19. You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult." (STUPID doctors...)
20. You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Terumo syringe
21. You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help (Wakaka!! Pity whoever is the Junior tat day...)
22. Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural (Eww!!)
23. Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank (Onli while werkin..)
24. When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer (Hee... Coz they r always crappy... N FON(Full of Nonsense))
25. You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines (Occupational Hazard i muz say...)
26. You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up (Neva slp b4 while @ werk... Veri gd example... Wakaka!!)
27. You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off (SO TRUE!!)